


Rebirth

by ArgetCross



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Post-Canon, Pregnancy, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 20:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7329928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgetCross/pseuds/ArgetCross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Half a year after her return into the world, Haura and Lon'qu go to Chon'sin. Lon'qu, to visit a grave. Haura, to speak to a Divine Voice.</p><p>They both have demons to lay to rest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebirth

The locals pointed her towards the home of the Divine Voice with a rehearsed set of directions. As Haura shouldered her travel bag and began the walk up the mountain path, the morning Chon'sin sun beat down heavy on her back and the spring crickets chirped in the forest. Tiki no longer resided near the heavens, raised high above the world by the Mila Tree, but she was still a three mile trek into the countryside, away from the bustle and noise of the capitol.

Haura wondered if, to Tiki, the on goings of humans adopted the same low buzz of the insects flitting around in the bush.

Halfway down the path, she forced herself to sit down and rest on a low stone mile marker. Her hand went to her swollen stomach and patted it. At four months, the weight of the child had grown enough to drag her down and put an ache in her bones in the morning. As she stretched her stiff muscles, the sharp stings of pain made her feel deliciously alive.

"I used to be able to march over twenty miles a day. You are making me soft, child." She whispered to it before easing herself back onto her heels and setting off.

              

Tiki's nest, for it was more of a nest than a house with its missing walls, haphazard tarps, and various hordes of pillows, was sprawled out in the clearing. Haura stepped over the low fence that marked the edge of her property with a little waddle. The child in her stomach shifted in discomfort as the various protection wards probed at Haura. She brushed them aside as if waving away cobwebs. Haura waited for a moment, standing inside of the fence, and then frowned when nothing stirred. Without a glance backwards, she strode into the center of the pillow piles under the tarps.

"Lady Tiki, your wards are simply not up to snuff. I know Chon'sin has been at peace for a couple years but I think you should really reconsider your security. You are completely in the open."

As Haura weaved past the piles to the corner of the tarp, where the largest mound lay, she finally saw Tiki, rubbing her eyes and sitting up.

"Say'ri, have you returned? Has it been a week already?" When Tiki opened her eyes and saw Haura standing there, her wistful expression disappeared into a guarded stare.

"Lady Tiki, it has been years. It is good to see you in health." Haura ventured cautiously. Perhaps shrugging through a divine dragon's protection wards without prior notice was possibly poor manners.

"It has been years for me, but not for you, is that correct? It was difficult to believe when the letter came half a year ago, saying you returned to walk this earth. And yet, here you are in the flesh." Tiki said. Her eyes flickered over to Haura's uncovered right hand and the bare skin where a cursed mark had once been.

"It really is me, Tiki." Haura said with a sigh as she sat down on a neighboring pile of carpets. She leaned back and closed her eyes, relaxing in front of Tiki. "Not Grima. I haven't had any apocalyptic urges lately, just morning sickness."

Tiki's voice softened and Haura knew her gambit had worked. "I could tell. Your presence doesn't have the same... intimidating weight as it did five years ago. It really is wonderful to see you. Even if you barged in with no regard to my personal property."

Haura sat up and gave Tiki a wry smile. "Intimidating? Is that what you thought of me? I am flattered, considering you are the dragon that could quite literally eat me. But even you cannot defend yourself if you are sleeping all the time. Your wards really should be strengthened."

Tiki gave her a strange look. "They are incredibly strong wards, though, Haura. Do you think me so careless? No human can enter without my permission. But perhaps, after rising from the dead, you may be 'no human'."

Haura did not reply as her mouth pressed thin but her hand went to her stomach. Tiki got up from her pile and began to rummage through one of the assorted chests. She pulled out hard meats, crackers, and a dented copper teapot.

"I confess I should improve my living standards a little. The game is so plentiful from the forest and the offerings continue to come even as I tell the pilgrims there is no need that I do not think much about my next meal. I rarely keep anything suitable for a guest." Tiki spoke as she prepared a picnic meal that would not seem out of place as military rations. When Haura arose to help, Tiki shot her down. "You are with a child, are you not? Conserve your strength. It must not have been easy to come out here by yourself."

"The walking was no issue. Lon'qu, however, fussed. I think he gets separation anxiety nowadays." Haura said with a small frown. Tiki laughed.

"He did not come with you? Shame. I would have liked to ask him how fatherhood suits his disposition."

Before Tiki could move for the flint, Haura whispered a small incantation and reached out her hand. The fire underneath the teapot sparked to life with a hearty crackle. Tiki huffed as Haura stared at her with nonchalance. The magical flames burned a cheery purple. 

"No, he had other business in Chon'sin. There were other people he had to see and not a lot of time to do so."

One girl in particular that he had not seen in years, but held in his heart even as a life and an ocean separated them. When he asked Haura if she wanted to come along, she declined. It was always awkward to meet exes.

“How have you been, Tiki? I heard much about the works of the Divine Voice in tandem with Chon’sin’s rebuilding, but very little about yourself.”

Tiki exhaled as she leaned back into her pile of pillows. “An age of peace after years of war is never as easy as history books like to pretend. The squabbling of the dynasts after the fall of Valm is both onerous to listen to and yet dangerous to leave unchecked. Even after all these years, our vigilance has not been rewarded with ease of mind.”

“Our? You speak of Lady Say’ri?” Haura picked up a tea cup of Chon’sinese make and squinted over the rim.

“…among others.” Tiki did not look Haura in the eye as she took Haura’s cup and served her tea.

“Has something happened?”

“You have always been too nosy, Haura.” Tiki said, lips curling to show a hint of her fangs. Before Haura could apologize however, Tiki deflated a little. “But I suppose that is my emotions speaking. I have spoken to few on the matter.

“After the end of the war, I stayed for a while in the Chon’sin palace to return to the world of humans and stay by Say’ri’s side. But while it is easy to dream in the midst of the war, the reality, you understand, was quite different. Staying in the Chon’sin palace meant being descended on my nosy devotees and watching Say’ri run herself ragged trying to satisfy both her kingdom and all of my pilgrims. In the end, I decided it was best for me to put some distance between the human world and I.”          

“I cannot imagine Say’ri was particularly pleased about this.” Haura chose her words a little more carefully.

“No, she was not. But she also believes little in things like rest when her kingdom needs her. This is best for all parties at the moment.”

Haura’s face scrunched up. “But that’s not a solution at all! It’s been years. Surely the dynasts of Valm are not so unstable now that your presences would somehow add to Lady Say’ri’s burden. Not to mention, Lady Tiki, is it really such a burden if Lady Say’ri wishes for it?”

Tiki snorted. “I see your son in you. He was dissatisfied with half-measures as well. Not that any of this is your business. It is not that I have cut myself away in isolation, Haura. I still see Say’ri all the time. And although it has taken time, the world is indeed stabilizing. Not everything changes within a fortnight. I can foresee my return by the next cherry blossoms.”

“Ah. I see. Forgive my rash assumptions.” Haura said and fell silent. She looked as if she wished to say more, but managed to swallow her thoughts down. Instead, she said, “…You were close to Morgan, were you not? Not this one," Haura gestured to her stomach, "But the grown one working in Ylisse right now.”

“Yes, Say’ri and I were fond of your son. He talked an awful lot and always wanted to ask me questions. Bright child. Much like you.” Tiki said as she handed Haura plate of crackers and dried meats.

“In all your time together, did you ever see his brand?” When Tiki shook her head, Haura continued, “It was flesh colored, like Chrom's, instead of burnt black like mine. We thought it meant he would not inherit anything, just a passing legacy that he knows the consequences of. But this child…”

“Many are born with such brands in the world and it comes to nothing.” Tiki said in a low voice, edged with teeth. Behind her words lived the memories of thousands.

“I cannot think that way when I was the Avatar of Grima.” Haura retorted.

Tiki closed her eyes. “I understand why you're here now. Even with the Mark of Grima gone from your hand and a child in your belly, you are wondering if you are truly free from your ties to Grima.”

Haura's face contorted for the briefest of moments before she returned to her usual demeanor. Still, Tiki did not miss the way her hand clutched her sword hilt unconsciously.

“Yes, I would like to consult the Divine Voice on this matter.”

“I do not know what occurred in those five years, what forces brought a dead woman back to life. It is a mystery my mother has not deigned to reveal to me. But Grima has indeed died in this world. Your return does not invalidate your ultimate sacrifice, Haura."

"But in other timelines... the Outrealm Gates remain in the world, Tiki. It took death and rebirth to strip me from the dragon. If another Grima was to come to this world and use my child the same way I used- the way Grima used Morgan-" Haura said before turning embarrassed and shoving a cracker into her own mouth.

Tiki frowned. Haura watched her with hungry eyes, eyes that bore the desperation of a new mother, a human subject to the whims of their fate. Had one asked Tiki to compare the indomitable tactician that stood tall on top of Grima with this soon to be mother, she would have had a hard time deciding which version of Haura was stronger and which version should be feared. In a moment of weakness, Tiki wondered if her goddess mother had searched to save Tiki herself from degeneration with those same eyes. The thought made her scowl.

"Would it matter? Would you kill the child inside you if it had the potential of reviving Grima? Or perhaps becoming something worse than Grima?" The moment the words left Tiki's mouth, Haura shuddered and the fire under the kettle reared upwards. As the kettle began to whistle, Haura brought her excess magic under control and the wisps of the sigils around her arm faded quickly.

When she finally spoke, her voice was hoarse and heavy.

"I chose once, my life or the millions. I have the resolve to choose again.”

Ah, Tiki thought, it was easy now, to see how this woman’s mind and body could house a god.

“Tiki, I confess I have asked myself many times these six months, why me? Of all the people to return from the dead, I am the least worthy and the most dangerous. It is like you said, my body is no ordinary human, but not just because I once held the Heart of Grima. I have killed hundreds and orchestrated the death of thousands more. Despite Naga saying it would be possible for the bonds I held with the Shepherds to bring me back, five years passed before I crawled back into existence. People moved on- what is my death in comparison to the thousands I have killed?

“How did our bonds not bring back Emmeryn, so beloved and who never took a single life but her own? Why is my husband forced to grieve to this day over a girl who died to protect him? Why can she not be the one to return and bear his child, one that would never be tainted by the fell dragon? What if the reason I returned was not from our invisible ties but from Grima, resurrecting itself through me? It did it once with Validar. I have often thought perhaps that is the true reason I have survived."

When Tiki took Haura’s cup from her hands to refill, Haura looked up at her like she was surprised to see her there. It took a while for Tiki to gather her thoughts but once she began to speak, the words shredded through even the haze of her weariness.

"Why am I on this earth when all else has died? What am I supposed to do, carrying such power and yet only seeing a path of unending pain?" Tiki murmured. "These are the questions that define my life. There is no answer I can give you except the trite-sounding."

“I know- that is why I came to you.”

“You are confused and thus seek a new religion. How amusing when you almost brushed shoulders with gods.”

Haura snorted into her cup. "Is your answer thus to live and find out? Maybe I will die or maybe I will see you in a thousand years in this abnormal body of mine."

"Yes. Perhaps you think you are undeserving of a second chance or there is someone who would be better suited. If Mar-Mar had only the lifespan I did, perhaps the world would not be as it is today.” Tiki paused as the hurt flashed through her chest. Haura watched her, looking weary.

“It is rare we got second chances in the war, Tiki. I am not sure what to do with them, to honor those who should have survived.”

“There is at least one course of action available to you. You surely must have wished to live.” Tiki pointed at Haura’s stomach. “Else you would not be carrying that child right now.”

Haura blinked at her, before her face softened.

Tiki yawned through her smile before curling into her pillows. “So, tell me, what is your son up to nowadays? And Nah, did she finally confess?”

 

When Lon’qu exited the graveyard, bucket empty of flowers and water, Haura stood at the bottom of the steps. She looked far away, starting fixedly at the cobblestone ground.

“How was Tiki?” he asked, snapping her out of her reverie.

“She was doing well. She says it should be fine for the child. Actually, she scolded me for coming to see her in the first place about it. I think she knows too much about the weight a mother’s fear has on their children.” Haura said, a little solemn. Lon’qu let out a sigh of relief.

“That is good to hear.”

“Did you find her?” She asked when they began to walk towards their hotel in the capital. When she looped her arm around his and leaned heavily into his side, he gave a little start but made no comment on it.

“I did. I paid my respects and asked her to look over us, if it would not bother her.” He had stood there, looking down at the tiny gravestone for the tiny girl that had died for him. Then he had kneeled and asked for her forgiveness and for over twenty years of negligence. Even as he did, however, he knew she would never have let him apologize to begin with.

Haura nodded. “If Ke’ri would look over you, I would be extremely grateful.”

Lon’qu frowned and stopped, “You speak as if you will not be there.”

They stood in the middle of this empty street with their arms linked, Haura with her eyes closed and Lon’qu looking down at her. Her hand went unconsciously to her stomach.

“What’s wrong.” Lon’qu’s sharp voice brought her attention to him.

“It is not quite my place to ask for things from Ke’ri. After all, I came back and she did not.”

Lon’qu froze and Haura could read the guilt on his face.

“I knew you have thought about it before. How could you have not?” Haura said in a flat tone.

“Do you… think I blame you?” Lon’qu retorted incredulously. His heart had felt heavy enough all day from visiting the grave, but at Haura pulling away from his arm, he felt it sink to his toes.  

“No.”

 “Then what are you trying to accomplish, Haura? Don’t play these mind games with me, not now.” Lon’qu said, with a note of pain in his voice. At the emotion roughing at his voice, Haura froze and looked him in the eye.

“I am so sorry.” It spilled out of her, charged with anguish and honesty, and she reached up rest her hand on his cheek. Lon’qu exhaled and reigned in his own temper. “That was low of me. I was feeling lost and I took it out on you. I should not have said that.”

“It was not …easy to stand in front of her grave, Haura. It made me grateful that I never had to stand in front of yours.”

“And I, yours.”

Haura’s thumb ghosted under Lon’qu’s eye and she leaned up to press a kiss to his mouth. He pushed back lightly, all warm lips and breath, and then let out a huff of laughter when Haura’s stomach knocked him back a little.

“Is it heavy, carrying him?” He asked. Every time he brushed his fingers over her stomach, it was with a touch of a priest coming to a new religion.

“I would carry him over mountains and seas, Lon’qu, without complaint. He will be a child of this new era we built.” Haura replied as they broke apart. He offered his arm to her and they began to walk again.

Just before they turned the corner on the street away from the graveyard, Lon’qu paused and could feel the similar swelling emotion that gripped Haura earlier overtake him. He leaned down and murmured, “Do you have any regrets being here with me?”

Haura leaned into him so he could feel her breathing and her warmth. Their callused hands slid together. Lon’qu rubbed his thumb over the bare skin of her right hand.

“None. I am excited for this life with you.” Haura said with a smile in her bright eyes. He could feel her pulse under his hands, steady like the drum beat of a march.

The pressure of her lips in that alley filled him with that same singing beat.

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually an old fic that I screwed up the courage to finish and post because I thought it shouldn't be left decaying in my hard drive. I really liked the image of the two of them in Chon'sin doing two parallel journeys, Lon'qu at a critical point of his life, about to be a father, at Ke'ri's grave as a manner to move on for the future and Haura with Tiki airing concerns in a manner befitting her strange and high stakes life. The question of survivor's guilt is one that plagues both of them. Whether or not I was successful, I hope you enjoyed this brief window into their lives burdened with death and aching with life and love. ^u^
> 
> Also even if Haura wasn't tactful enough to drag out the whole truth, Tiki and Say'ri are negotiating their relationship with Say'ri's duties and Say'ri should be able to rest in the embrace of her ancient dragon girlfriend soon. Like Tiki said, peace doesn't equate happiness and stability and it sure doesn't come quickly. But if both of them want that relationship together, they will make it work, yeah? @u@


End file.
